I Spit On Your Grave (Ancient Rome Addition)

Roman Emperor Gaius Caligula is back in the news after 2,000 years.

How is that possible you might ask?

Lake Nemi, Italy

According to recent reports, a man was caught and arrested as he attempted to load a statue into his truck around Lake Nemi, just south of Rome. Commanded to do so, the man led police back to where he'd found the monument. One thing led to another and now the archaeological squad of the police believe the area to be the burial site of Caligula. And with good reason. The statue, made of rare Greek marble, is of a god (Caligula proclaimed himself a living god) sitting on a throne and wearing Roman caligae (sandal boots). The name Caligula is actually only a nickname, picked up during his childhood. Young Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus picked up the Caligula from his father's Germanic legions because he liked to wear caligae and full military attire around the encampments.

As I became all too excited when possible discovery of the tombs of Antony and Cleopatra came about, I will take the information about Caligula's with a grain of salt.

But a big, chunky, idonized one.


                                                                    Death of Germanicus by Nicolas Poussin

Caligula was declared insane by ancient historians and his contemporaries. His father, Germanicus, had been extremely popular among his legions along the Rhine River and the people of Rome. When he ascended to the Roman throne, Caligula was just as popular (though no one probably called him by his childish nickname out of fear for their life). He implemented popular reforms and began massive public works to better the Empire and to appease its people. He reigned for 4 short years, during which he fell gravely ill. He recovered only to turn the whole of Rome upside down with his tyrannical behavior. He made his horse a consul of Rome, he invited Venus into his bedroom at night to copulate with him, and he turned his royal palace into a public brothel. He, and regrettably his wife and infant daughter, were assassinated by his own Praetorian Guards in Rome.

But if he died in Rome and if all the images of him were supposedly destroyed, why do we hear of his possible burial site at Lake Nemi?

Caligula had a royal palace on the Palatine Hill in Rome, but he also had two villas - one of them at Lake Nemi. I would love to believe that his burial site has been discovered, and the location and description of the statue adds to the possibilities. But at the time of his death, Caligula was hated by the Senate and by his Praetorian Guard. It's said that the common people, never really in any real danger of his whimsical wrath, actually mourned him. In order for him to have even had a proper burial, he would have been revered or honored in some way. But the common people would not have buried him. He had no significant family left. His mother and father were long dead. He had his brother, Gemellus, murdered after Caligula became emperor. His German barbarian bodyguard unit could have buried him, but would they have known to do it at Lake Nemi? Could his uncle, Claudius, have buried him? I think Claudius feared his nephew more than revered him. And I think that whether or not this is actually the grave of Caligula remains to be seen. We'll have to see what Italian authorities and archaeologists have to say in the coming months. I'm excited by the possibilty, but also grounded in the fact that no one significant in Rome liked him enough to see to his proper burial.

Caligula is a name synonymous with murder and debauchery. He's the most infamous Roman emperor of all time, known for his decadence, whimsical madness, and his marriage to Rome's most promiscuous prostitute, Caesonia. There was a movie about made about him in 1979, a perpetual blood and sexfest featuring Playboy playmates in the cast. In 2005, director Gore Vidal made a faux movie trailer for a new Caligula film, featuring Courtney Love in a role-reversed portrayal of Caligula, Milla Jovovich as Caligula's sister Drusilla and Benicio Del Toro as Caligula's Praetorian Guard captain Macro. Just this year, an online game exclusive to Adultswim.com was developed, entitled "Viva Caligula! In Hell!" in which a shirtless but heavily-cloaked Cailgula attempts to foil the powers of the underworld - including Hitler, Stalin, and Attila the Hun. Caligula has become a novelty, no different from Cleopatra and her casinos and pinball machines. The picture at the top of this blog depicts an already murdered Caligula, the Praetorian who killed him, Gratus, declaring Claudius emperor in the immediate aftermath. This is of course the way it really happened, and knowing that, I find it amazing that Caligula has had such a massive affect on pop culture.